Conspiracy


Have you ever noticed that when you're
of a certain age, everything seems uphill
from where you are? Stairs are steeper,
groceries are heavier. And everything is
farther away. Yesterday I walked to the
corner and I was dumbfounded to discover
how long our street had become!

And people are less considerate now,
especially the young ones. They speak in
whispers all the time. If you ask them
to speak up, they just keep repeating
themselves, endlessly mouthing the same
message until they're red in the face.
What do they think I am, a lip reader!

I also think they are much younger than
I was at the same age. On the other hand,
people my own age are so much older than I
am. I ran into an old friend the other day,
and she has aged so much that she didn't
even recognize me. I got to thinking about
the poor dear while I was combing my hair
this morning, and in doing so, I glanced
at my own reflection. Well, really now,
even mirrors are not made the way they
use to be.

Another thing - everyone drives so fast
today. You're risking life and limb if you
just happen to pull onto the freeway in
front of them. All I can say is, their
brakes must wear out awfully fast the way
I see them screech and swerve in my rear
view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized
these days. Why else would they suddenly
start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as
18 or 20? Do they think no one notices
that these things no longer fit around
the waist, hips, thighs, and chest?

The people who make bathroom scales are
pulling the same prank, but in reverse.
Do they think I actually "believe" the
number i see on that dial? HA! I would
never let myself weigh that much. Just
who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority
to report what's going on, but the telephone
company is in on the conspiracy too. They've
printed the phone books in such small type
that no one could ever find a number in there!
All I can do is pass along this warning:

"Maturity is under attack!"

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon
everyone will have to suffer these awful
indignities.

Please pass this on to everyone you know as
soon as possible so we can get this conspiracy
stopped!

PS: I AM SENDING THIS TO YOU IN LARGER
FONT SIZE BECAUSE SOMETHING HAS CAUSED
FONTS TO BE SMALLER THAN THEY REALLY ARE.

~ Author Unknown ~