Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven

Start your day with a smile.

The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and
goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met
by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.

St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly
good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.
I must tell you, though, that the place is
filling up fast, and we've been administering
an entrance examination for everyone. The test
is short, but you have to pass it before you
can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here
St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about
any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too
hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but
the test is only three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with
the letter T?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He
returns the next day And sees St. Peter who waves
him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance
to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two
days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks,
that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims,
"Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you
do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so
I'll give you credit for that answer. How about
the next one?" asks St.Peter. "How many seconds
in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk
and thunk about that and I guess the only answer
can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!! ?
Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up
with twelve seconds in a year?" Forrest says
"Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd,
February 2nd, March 2nd."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where
you're going with this, and I see your point,
though that wasn't quite what I had in mind.
but I'll have to give you credit for that
one, too.

Let's go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."

Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated
St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up
with your answers to my first two questions, but
just how in the world did you come up with the
name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,
"Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song.
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY
TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . ."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said:
"Run Forrest, run."

Give me a sense of humor, Lord, Give me the grace
to see a joke, To get some humor out of life, and
pass it on to other folk.

Midi ~ Theme Song from Forrest Gump ~